Once you go black..

I have been a red head over half my life now. It's a choice made over and over- from auburn to almost blondish red. I read a book about my astrological sign of Cancer that told me I should likely have red hair and I agree. The same book also told me would likely have olive skin- check! ..and an ample bosom, which was dumb.. and something about pearls, also dumb. But I digress. I have relatives that were lucky enough to grab onto the gene. Even one grandfather was nicknamed "Red". I held a longing for red locks since I was small. Playing with Barbies in my youth, I was thrilled when Midge came out. More specifically, "Bride Midge". I had never had a bride doll before, but this one had red hair and was (therefore) a must have. I even found my way into owning one issue of Spiderman- the one with Peter and (red haired) Mary Jane on the cover dressed in bridal wear. Based on those two examples alone, you may not be surprised that my like for fiery locks spread into my love interest. One of my first crushes was on the boy next door.. well, the house behind my parents after you hop a fence. I was smitten yet so little that I didn't even know what it was I was feeling, but heartbreak set in when girls were suddenly "yucky" and I pawned off onto his younger sister. In elementary school I found another red haired crush. Less freckled and his face wasn't as red-toned, but pale. The closest I ever got to him was snapping a picture that was taken at a Halloween parade around the school. I still recall he was wearing all black. I guess he was a burglar.. of my little heart.
When I was a teenager, I got my first box of hair dye. My friend took dorked out pictures of me holding signs that read "before", "during" and "after". It was the beginning of a love affair, but unlike Viagra, no pills have been invented for red hair to grow on demand. And while female friends with curly red fros have been rockstars in my life, "ginger males" have fallen flat.  The instant charm I once automatically labeled them with eventually died and new labels of "likely an idiot" and "they all really just look the same" have taken their place. Thankfully, like I said, the red-haired women have always been strong and awesome. I have had the motto for a while now that "I support all red heads- real and fictional." (And female, of course.) I dare you to try and make a case against Blossom from the Power Puff Girls or Willow from Buffy as not rock'n chicks. Or my friends Samantha and Lindsay- I dare you! They kick major ass!
With all this happiness jonesing over a shiny strawberry top, why would I even be tempted to switch over to the dark side? Especially when I have invented my own fears.. It all started when I bought my first black wig. I had worn wigs before, but my blue one was worn the most. It was a super-short angeled cut with curved baby bangs. The black wig was a long bob with bangs that touched the tops of my eye brows. I was doing a lot of photography at the time and I had many a photo shoot with vintage 40's dresses and also just wore it out for a change up. Whenever I wore it though, I noticed a difference in how I felt.. More serious, catty, what's the word I am looking for? Ah, yes- bitchy. I didn't slap people or throw rocks at small children, but I felt a persona shift. (I think the actress part of my brain may have been tricked.) But when the wig was off, the persona party ended. When the first black wig was getting worn and ugly, I got another. Same style, but a better quality wig. Same effect though. I would get a power surge and I could get mean in some people's company. Mostly just to razz them, but like Mary Poppins there was a dark edge to me and my choice of words.
Now, in all fairness, the last wig I owned was honey blonde with deep purple highlights, layers and long bangs. That too gave me a persona shift. Perhaps a little more sarcastic.. maybe? My other concern with getting my black on for reals has to do with color therapy. I worry that spending each day coated in space black locks will bring me down vs. feeling lighter with my ruby sheen 24/7. Overall, this is something I ponder from time to time. Sometimes, I use these fears as possible motivators. Like when I feel like everyone and my life is kicking me around and I want to start fresh. I think that maybe I should "black-up" and dye in some battle mode hair. My life, my way- it's a brand new and black-a-dee black day! .. But I don't. Never have.
And that time has cycled round again. So I ponder today if changing my hair will change my life.. or at least make me a better life coach for myself? I pondered and pondered this. I thought of all the non-bitchy women I know who have long kept up a polished black mane (real or created). And I think of some of my favorite (kind) tv vixens whose smile lit up their night spun hair. I wonder if I can take the plunge too? I thought this all the way to the store and as I stared at box after coloring box that called out to me. I came home and unpacked my bag of as much a risk as I am willing to take. My very light auburn framed face will be replaced with some intense copper coloring and notes of luscious bordeaux.  A compromise to make some change, but not to live surrounded by soft strands of permanent midnight.

.. at least not yet.

Imagine That..!!

As an adult, we often use our imagination for some structured purpose. Maybe laid out by a superior at work, we are told to create something within certain set parameters. When we focus on what is right in front of us, what has been laid out for us- too often we narrow our minds and ourselves. As an adult, I attended school for improvisation for many years. I was taught different ways to use my imagination. One of the best lessons I learned was that you didn’t have to start small or safe. If the scene had me living in an extravagant house, I wouldn’t refer to diamonds I owned, but rather the 60 ft marble fountain carved in the shape of the Lock Ness Monster. And I knew I could only keep heightening the scene from there.. There is an expression, the sky’s the limit. But that certainly is not true. We know this. Even being encouraged to reach for the stars is still, somewhat limiting.

To quote Galileo, “The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else to do in the universe.”

Your imagination lives on the scale of a universe. It peers beyond what is present in our lives. It is an echo of what could be true in our future. We all deal with stress, with sadness, with fear, sometimes asking- how will we ever get out from where we are now? That’s when we really need to hear that echo. That wisdom that comes from what we imagine for ourselves. Not to challenge us, but remind us that the power of our imagination is limitless- and that power- is ours whenever we need it.

Aristotle once said, “Contemplation is the highest form of activity.” And that is what I am speaking to you about today, about using the invaluable gift of your imagination. A gift that is outrageously abundant.

How would you like to be in your life? For myself, I have career aspirations. I want success working in the field of psychology. Now, there are many other things that I may want to do, but that just feels natural, for me. What feels natural for you? What are things you want that don’t feel natural? There’s an important difference there. And this want I have serves my life. It does not condemn others or wish others harm. This is mine.. Morihei Ueshiba, founder of the martial art of a-key-dow said, “As soon as you concern yourself with the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with and criticizing others weaken and defeat you.”

Close your eyes and imagine how you want to be. What are you wearing? What do you look like? What surrounds you- objects, a person, an animal?  Imagine yourself there. How do you feel? Now,  open your eyes. Your imagination will never fail you.  Whenever you need it- go to that feeling of happiness. Connect to that echo. Feel that wisdom. That success that you’ve already created for yourself.

Your imagination will never fail you or cheat you. It doesn’t care if when you contemplate, when you are creating- you’re 3, 30 or 60. It fits perfectly into the body of a child, as well as an adult.  Our imagination is a gift. We are gifting ourselves to use it. “To be an altruist, you must first be an egoist”, said George Gurdjieff. In other words, providing for ourselves can then enable us to provide for others.

Some of the largest pieces of life are found in our imagination. When Isaac Newton discovered and named “gravity”, he could not touch it nor hear it. He saw it only in his mind, knowing what he experienced and felt. Yet, this one invisible force rules all that we can see so clearly with our eyes wide open. The invisible can be powerful and this power can be visible.

As children, our imagination is a lucid, luminous lightning bolt. It’s blaze wakes us up to the world. As a child, I used my imagination often. There were many days that I would make ice cream with my bike. It was something that lots of kids did on streets around where I lived. You flip your bike over, get ingredients from the yard- ice cream! Recently, I was over at my brother’s house. We were standing over a used bike that he had bought. It was being looked at for any necessary repairs and, because of this, it was flipped over.  My brother turned to me and asked me “Sarah, you wanna make some ice cream?” And I replied, “yes, I absolutely do.”

We need to make our intentions clear. If you pretend to be who you’re not, you will connect to things that don’t benefit you. We need to stop pining for ourselves. It is essential to our well-being that we don’t always wait for others to tell us what they see in us. To quote Steve Jobs, “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” When you are just being yourself, you are ingeniously confessing the truth. So, exercise your rights to seek splendors in thought and stare into the abyss of happiness. And remember- you’re imagination fits you perfectly because you are an absolutely perfect fit for your life.